Soylent Green is Kevin

New Blog

2008-01-17T09:06:00.001-06:00

I decided to break away from this blog site and create my own little blog. Hopefully since I paid a little money for this one I'll post on it more. The site is www.soylentgreeniskevin.com. Yes I know...I'm not very original. I live in a trailer park, what do you expect.

-Kevin

Soylent Kevin Has Been Missing

2008-01-04T20:47:00.001-06:00

Yep, I know. I've been bad about posting. With the mix of work being very busy and my laziness at home, that would be the reason. I'm hoping to start posting a lot more now, especially since things have slowed down at work...which is the main place where I think of new ideas to put on here. In case you are wondering what's been going on..here is a recap of what has happened:

1. Work

There you have it. My exciting life in a list form. My life is a hollow existence until the Astros get started up again anyway. Six more weeks till spring training!

-Kevin

Austin = Fun

2007-10-29T10:17:00.000-06:00

Went to Austin this past weekend to hang out with my good friend Amber. I've always heard good things about Austin and I can say that it lived up to its rep as a fun city. We went out to 6th street on Saturday night and dressed up, which was awesome. My gorilla suit was, of course, one of the best costumes there. I didn't get to take many pictures, mainly because it was a pain in the butt to take my phone out of my pants pocket through the gorilla suit. Here are a few that I was able to take:

Here is a picture of two of the greatest costumes ever created.

Here is Amber with her costume. Its a little dark because we were inside and my stupid phone has no flash.

Here is Dell Diamond, which was VERY nice.

-Kevin

No Title Needed

2007-10-10T19:14:00.001-05:00

Need I say more...I think not.

-Kevin

Corporate Goodness

2007-10-10T10:28:00.000-05:00

My boss takes me into his office on Thursday and informs me that I'm going to a meeting with him on Friday in New Orleans. Now as much as I hate sitting in these things because I just sit there and not say a word and feel like an idiot, I was excited because I was going to get to fly on the company plane!! Anyway, the meeting was boring as I thought it would be, but we did eat at a nice Italian Restaurant...no clue what it was called. I also saw that New Orleans has a loooong ways to go before being back to normal. Its still pretty trashed from what little I saw. Anyway, here are two pictures of the plane that I flew on. Definitely the best flight I've ever been on. The seats leaned all the way back, no crying babies, and as much food and drink as you wanted. Oh and when we landed, we stepped off the plane and a car was waiting on us with some dude holding the door open for us....very nice.....

And here is just a picture of Abby and Brody(the next PGA star). Its obvious that Brody will be a PGA star because I will be taking him to the Kevin's School of Golf.

-Kevin

God Has My Number.

2007-10-03T09:18:00.000-05:00

I think God took it upon himself to punish me last week. My PC crashed, and along with it every single thing I had on my RAID. So if anyone has the urge to bring their computer over so that I can transfer all their music, movies, and games over to my computer, that would be greatly appreciated.

Lesson of the day: Backup your data or bad things will happen.

-Kevin

Good Website

2007-10-01T16:17:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to point you male managers out there in the right direction in regards to dealing with women in the workplace. You can check it out here.

The Office is Back!

2007-09-27T19:22:00.000-05:00

I've pretty much decided that The Office is the greatest show ever created by mankind. It has pretty much everything you could ask for in a show. I've also decided that I'm basing my friendships on this show. So basically if you don't like the show, I can't be your friend. So if you see this and you don't like The Office and you consider us friends, you might want to look deep inside yourself and see if we really are friends......probably not.

-Kevin

The Classics

2007-07-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

Everyone remember the books they used to read as kids?? I know I do! So I thought it would be kinda neat to post some pictures of the childrens books I used to read when I was little. These are the books that shaped me into what I am today....so here they are:

Thanks for Dying Jesus, This Candy is Awesome!

This is one my mom used to read to me to help me sleep. It helps teach your kids some very important lessons about God....and candy.

Rags

Also another good book. This one teaches you the ins and outs of Multiple Sclerosis...very important in todays society.

It's Lupus!

Ahh, one of my all time favorites. Teaches kids not to have sex with their STD ridden teddy bears. I know thats a growing problem these days.

How to Shave Grandma

I wish more kids would read this today. I see a lot of grandmas with more facial hair than I am even able to grow...thats just nasty.

OK, this last one isn't a book, but I thought it was funny so I put it on here anyway.

In case you were wondering where I got these and want to see more...here is the site.

Astros Game

2007-07-08T02:06:00.000-05:00

I went to the astros game last night...which was a 17 inning loss. Thats ok because it was a lot of fun. We moved up to right behind the dugout and talked to the players quite a bit...including Brad asking Jose Cruz if Wandy could speak english or not. Anyway, here are some pictures from the game.

Here is a picture of me and Paul in our original seats. Probably in the top ten worst seats in the stadium.

Here is a picture of the coke lady in our new and improved seats. Isn't she a lovely young lady.

Here is me after the game...pretty pissed that we stayed for a 17 inning game and they ended up losing.

Here is Paul and Brad hanging out with Biggio in the dugout. Is it just me or is Biggio copping a feel of Paul.

Here is Paul trying to catch a foul ball in his mouth...pretty impressive.

Are these ladies shorts even legal?

The Simpsons.....in SETX

2007-07-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

Seth, my friend from Shreveport, showed me this sweet site that lets you create a Simpsons character so I decided that I am going to make one for some of my friends.....so lets take a look....

These first two are...of course...Clifton and Britney. I think these are fairly accurate...I couldn't give Britney a "sneer" kinda look so I went with the homer beard look.

Here is Garret and Amber...wow I can't believe how accurate these things are.

I think this is my second favorite. This one is Nick...I know...I didn't even need to say it.

This is the last one and by far the best and most accurate. This one is.......Toups.

Terrorists Have Taken My Internet

2007-07-02T09:38:00.000-05:00

Freakin terrorists and their trickery! First they bomb us, then they make those little bombs out of ink pens…and now they have taken away my internet at work. Ok, maybe it wasn’t terrorists..maybe our internet just sucks..but whatever. Whats really weird though is that some of the people we work with in other states lost their internet too…which makes me wonder…maybe terrorists did strike a mighty blow to our internet!!

I mean seriously…if they wanted to send us into a fit of depression and cripple our ability to pay our bills in an easy and timely manner..just destroy the internet! Now I have no idea if it is even possible to destroy the internet…I’m sure it would be pretty tough if they could…but I mean what would the world be without myspace, facebook, maddox…all the things that define our generation. Oh well…if ANYONE can figure out how to destroy the internet, those sneaky terrorists can. I mean I saw on Fox News once where the terrorists had made condom bombs….so abstinence is the way to go now kids…be afraid…be very afraid!

Mr. 3000

2007-07-02T09:30:00.000-05:00

As all of my friends SHOULD know, Biggio got his 2998, 2999, 3000, 3001 and 3002nd hits of his career the other day. Now I’ve been one of his non-supporters this year. I’ve always thought that he should be benched on the road, moved down in the lineup, and be put on the bench after he gets his 3000th finally. Now not to say that I completely disagree with what I used to think, but after watching what happened that night, I’ve found my respect for him as a player again.

It has been very painful to watch Biggio bat all season, swinging at bad pitches, striking out more often than not…things were just ugly. It doesn’t help that the team is on the verge of the worst record they have had in…a lot of years. Many people, including myself, blamed part of our struggles on Biggio leading off, which I guess could be part of the problem. Honestly though, if you look at the team as a whole….they just basically all have sucked. When we are pitching well, we aren’t hitting. When we are hitting well, we aren’t pitching worth a crap. I’ve felt that this whole year, the only reason that Biggio has been in the lineup is for this quest for 3000….which I was a little bitter about because I would rather win than see him hit 3000…but whatever.

After watching his hit, well I watched the replay because we were playing softball at the time, I’m taking back everything bad I said about Biggio. I know that you heard this said a million times that night…but everytime Biggio plays, he plays hard and he plays the way the game should be played. When you watch him play now, he is but a mere shadow of the player he once was, but he still runs out every single lazy ground ball to the shortstop...you don't see Lee or Berkman doing that ever. Brad had me turn the radio on the other morning and a guy was talking about Biggio getting into the Hall of Fame. He was saying that at no point did he ever think that Biggio was "great". Sure he was good for a long time, but at no point did anyone ever say, that guy is the best…and to him that is how you should judge a player getting into the Hall. What the guy fails to realize is that Biggio IS one of the greatest 2nd basemen to ever play the game. I mean the 3000 hits should automatically put him in the hall, only 26 other players have ever done it. He doesn’t stop there, he is climbing the ladder on so many top lists that its hard to keep up sometimes. With every one of his hits, you always hear the announcers saying some other person he has passed in doubles, extra base hits…its amazing. Anyone that EVER says Biggio shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame is in idiot…hands down.

I’m not gonna lie, I got a little choked up when they showed Bagwell out on the field with him after he got the hit. I mean Bagwell and Biggio brought the Astros from a medicore team to one of the better francises of our time. At that point is when I realized why Biggio needed to hit that mark. He didn’t do it just for himself, he did it for the city and all his fans. We now can say we have one of the greatest players to ever play the game. I don’t care what anyone says, throw Biggio out there everyday…let him lead off, do whatever he wants. Him and Bagwell carried the team on their shoulders through the 90s and he deserves all the playing time he can get. He has been one of the most unselfish players of our time, and to think that he is playing for any other reason other than winning for the fans, you are crazy.

I’m not exactly sure where I was going with this post. It was kind of a tribute/rant kind of thing. Anyway, the point is. No more complaining from me when Biggio swings and misses on the slider down and away. His presence in the dugout and his legacy are enough for me to keep him around. Lets just hope that this win will spark the Astros to go on a run……wishful thinking though I’m sure……

Wanna know about my work?

2007-06-20T21:13:00.000-05:00

So let me tell you about what I do at work. I'm an account manager at a Pharmacy Benefits Management company. What I do is when groups........ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

DWT......WTF??

2007-06-12T11:59:00.000-05:00

So I was listening to Christian radio this morning and I hear news that there is a spreading plague gripping our nation that HAS to be dealt with. It is a rising problem, it can't be stopped...the government needs to do something! Well, in Washington (the state) they did. They have passed a bill that bans people from texting while driving. If you are caught doing it, you will have to pay a very hefty fine. And what are they calling it?? DWT "Driving while Texting"....wow.

First off, as much as I think that people who text, including me, are taking a bit of a risk considering it makes you not focus on the road, I still think this is horrible. For one thing, most people that actually do it, can text without actually looking at their keys....like me. Also, I can think of lots of things that are much worse than texting that people do behind the wheel that cause accidents. Actually I hear of very few that are caused by someone texting, but whatever. Here is a short list of things that I find worse than texting:

1. Women fixing hair/makeup/anything you can think of that they like to fix while driving.
2. Old People...wow i could write three whole blogs about old people driving
3. Messing with Ipod. To me that is a lot harder to do than text...you have to try to find what song you want...its pretty tough to do. Just ride with Vic..I find my life flashing before my eyes every time Vic feels the need to change a song while he drives.
4. Women talking on the phone.
5. Women in general....dang they suck at driving
6. Trees, other cars, grass, passengers, radio, TVs in the car, reading, Signs, guy in donut suit that stands on the side of the road trying to wave you down, hot chick in bikini trying to get me to have my car washed, pets, babies,....and many many more

My point is why pick on texting?? If it were me I would go ahead and make sure all women and old people can't drive. Although that would be kinda tough on the women..you know getting to work and going to buy groceries and all. Ok ok, just old people then...what do they need to drive for??

My Life...in List Form: Part 1

2007-06-09T20:47:00.000-05:00

So if you are reading this...you probably already know me anyway, so why do I even need to write a blog about me? Well..I have no clue what else to write about...so read it anyway. I've decided to compile a few top lists with different things that I like and don't like....so here we go....

So I'm going to start off with something that really has nothing to do with me....well it sorta does. I've just been talking about it lately. I've found that there are very few movies that I really don't like. There are a lot of really cheesy movies out there that I can watch over and over again and never get tired of them. I guess it takes very little to entertain me...anyway, I have made a list of the top 5 worst movies that I have seen to date. Granted there are probably worse movies out, but I haven't seen them so I don't care. So here we go....

5. Dumb and Dumberer: First of all, I knew this movie was in trouble when the original cast wasn't brought back for the second installment. The original movie is arguably one of the greatest comedies ever made. Sure the movie wasn't horrendous, but it wasn't even close to the original. This movie made me sad, they could have done so much better....

4. The Wedding Planner: You know, honestly I really do like chick flicks for the most part. Even though they are extremely predictable and very cheesy, I always seem to enjoy watching them. This one I did not enjoy at all..mainly because of Jennifer Lopez. I can't stand her, and if she died tomorrow, I wouldn't really feel sad at all. Anyway, the point is J-Lo ruined the movie....she needs to do us all a favor and have some of her ass fat removed and shoved in her mouth to stop all her ghetto talk.

3. Dick: This happends to be the only one of two movies that I have ever walked out of the theaters on. The whole point of this movie had to do with two girls who ended up meeting Nixon and were advisors for the watergate scandal. Normally I'm a big fan of Kirsten Dunst, but not this time. I even liked her more in Bring It On than I did in this movie. The movie was just retarded and outrageous....BAD KIRSTEN!

2. 28 DaysLater: HELLLOOOOO...........HELLLLLLOOOOO......HELLLLOOO! I just described the first 30 minutes of this movie. I usually love zombie movies. One of my favorites would be Dawn of the Dead, this one doesn't even come close. Its supposed to be a horror movie, but there isn't anything scary about it at all. I saw that they made a sequel to this, but I didn't watch it. I would have to make a top 6 worst movies if I did...

1. Peter Pan: Wow, I'm not sure what to say about this movie. I had such high hopes because of Hook. After about ten minutes of watching it I really wanted to walk out of the theater. I ended up making it 30 min. I mean I know I might have been a little old to go see that, but come on..at least make it something that I might enjoy a little bit. This makes number one because....well...it was just freakin horrible.